March 29, 2010

surprised by pain

Every time I think I've got a handle on it, something will happen, and all the pain of losing my family will rush back over me and take my breath away. I wonder what my sister is fixing for dinner and whether my brother likes a girl. I wonder if they feel the weight of lost years like I do. I wonder if they stop and stare numbly at pictures on a facebook profile wondering what happened to kids who used to read books together and chase each other around the yard. I wish becoming me didn't mean losing you.

1 comment:

Trina said...

Every time I visit, I am astonished at the way you put my thoughts and feelings into words..."I wish becoming me didn't mean losing you"

I know the ache as well. And I have finally accepted the grace God has for it. Yet still the scars remain, the forfeited future...