June 30, 2007

Some things just go well with BBQ

Like planning on how we're going to pull off the election of the century. We just went to a Ron Paul meet up that met at a local Jim 'n Nicks. Good food, and I was really encouraged to see a room full of people who actually care about the constitution and the economy and all those really important things that get buried under the political posturing that passes for campaigning these days. Now let me say right up front that I don't believe for one moment that Ron Paul is the last hope for the U.S or the salvation of our country's future or any other such outlandish thing. Hope and salvation rest in the Lord alone. However, I think the very fact that Ron Paul is running for president means that there is hope. Our back are against the wall. Almost no one knows or cares about the Constitution today. We have nothing to lose here. If all we do is get a few more people to think about the real meaning of liberty then we'll have done more than Hilary or Obama or Huckabee or Thompson or just about any other politician in recent times has done. We hear so often that our liberties are being threatened, but no one seems prepared to actually do anything about it. Nearly everything they do (the Patriot Act, Real ID, etc) to "protect" us only ends up stripping down our liberties and, not so incidentally, our bank accounts.

The other thing that I'm excited about is the fact that my husband is really getting excited about a candidate. Ron Paul is the man Allen said he'd vote for when he caught flack for not voting for Bush way back in the day. I've voted for a couple of years now, but this is the first time I've really gotten grass roots involved in a presidential campaign. It really feels good. I'm not sure what we're all going to do right now, but whatever we do it's good to finally feel like I'm on the right side. I voted for Bush myself in the last election, but it's not something I really felt proud of at the time. I did what was expected of me. Now I'm glad to part of something that I can actually get behind.

If any of y'all are interested in reading more about him just go click on the link at the top of the sidebar. Check out his voting record, and compare him to the other candidates. Freedom is a more complicated business than slavery, but few people think the freedman is worse off than the slave.

June 29, 2007

I'm sleepy (yawn)

I know I haven't been writing that much lately and not that much of any real interest too boot. Guess I'm just going through a dry spell. Or a boring one. I eat, sleep, check my e-mail, read, putter around the apartment...it's honestly not that interesting. Last night we did go to the mall to walk around a bit, however we stayed up too late (again). Allen was working on his parser, and I was distracted, and it just plain old got late on us. It's been happening quite a lot lately. It doesn't help that I don't like to go to bed by myself. That king size bed is awfully big and awfully lonely without someone to snuggle up to : ) However, last night after we finally did go to bed I didn't actually sleep all that well, and I couldn't even sleep in late because my stomach was giving me those fierce little "feed me" sensations! Unless I get a nap later I doubt I'm going to be good for too very much today, which is a pity because I haven't been good a whole lot this entire week! Ah the joys of being me.

June 25, 2007

Blame it on my honeymoon....

The first movie Allen and I watched together after we got married was Bride and Prejudice. We flipped a coin, and I won. (We'd rented several movies.) So...snuggled up together in the all embracing expanse of our cabin's cozy couch I received my first introduction to Bollywood. Some months later while probing around Youtube I found this fascinating little video. The music is lighthearted, and a couple of the dresses she wears are absolute dreams. Enjoy!

June 24, 2007

Some verses I've been pondering..

These few verses from Isaiah 66 have been particularly stuck in my head the past few days. I'm sure it's obvious why.

7 “Before she was in labor
she gave birth;
before her pain came upon her
she delivered a son.
8 Who has heard such a thing?
Who has seen such things?
Shall a land be born in one day?
Shall a nation be brought forth in one moment?
For as soon as Zion was in labor
she brought forth her children.
9 Shall I bring to the point of birth and not cause to bring forth?”
says the Lord;
“shall I, who cause to bring forth, shut the womb?”
says your God.

June 21, 2007

My lovely box of books

An online friend recently sent me a lovely box full of Grace Livingston Hill paperbacks, and I've spent the better part of this afternoon happily occupied with one. You likely won't find her name in the list of great authoresses, and to be sure reading too many in a row is rather like eating a box of chocolates by yourself. However, they are delightfully innocent books with a great deal of charm and thoroughly enjoyable all around.

June 19, 2007

change in comments

Hi all!

For now anonymous comments have been disabled. I know that might be a pain for those of you who don't have a blogger account, but some of my anonymous comments have gotten increasingly worrisome. I don't mean in the "you know I really don't agree with you" way but in a "who are you and how do you know that?" way. It's not really a big deal. Nobody is telling what I'm wearing or what I ate at a particular restaurant last week. However....it is a little creepy. Sorry for the inconvenience. Hopefully later I can switch things back.

God bless!

June 18, 2007

Now this is really worth reading

Vox Day has an interview with Ron Paul up on his blog that everyone really needs to read -especially if you haven't heard much about Ron Paul before. This is the anti-abortion, pro-border control, REPEAL INCOME TAX, and stridently pro-constitution presidential candidate that not enough people are talking about. No, my little homemaker blog isn't about to go political, but this man is really worth a second and third look. Please, please, please go check out this interview and give this man a little consideration.

bet you never would have guessed...

Ok, it's past my bed time but reading Vox Day's post on women and tattoos reminded me of something. No, I don't have, want to have, or ever intend to get a tattoo. They hurt, and by the time you're 50 they look really, really lame. So what is it? I have this tiny little desire to get my nose pierced. Not a ring or anything. Just a tiny little flat stud on the side of one of my nostrils. I've seen a couple of women with them, and I think they're kind of interesting and attractive. However, there's a million reasons why that's not ever going to happen -number 1 of which is that it hurts, and I don't even like to get blood drawn. Also, I'm not so sure about the message that sends. It's really not very Audrey Hepburn-esque, and it's probably not the first thing many people associate with "nice Christian woman." But you ever see me with a tiny gold fleck on the side of my nose you'll know I've up and glued on a sequin for the afternoon just to see everyone's faces. Yeah, more than some of you wanted to know : )

P.S. I suppose maybe I should apologize for my comment about tattoos above since I've talked to so many who have them. I really, really hope that didn't come across as judgmental. However I have seen a few older tattoos (mostly the large ones) that didn't really fare well with age. Anyway, no offense intended, and I hope none taken.

June 15, 2007

Yes, my parents are wonderful

I'm so grateful that people can tell from my blog that I have great parents. From the time I was born my mom stayed home to raise all five of us. She's also homeschooled us all (that's no small feat!). I was homeschooled k-12 as were and will be all the others. Plus, all three of us that she's graduated earned college scholarships. That's certainly a record to be proud of, but on top of that she's good at baking, gardening, sewing, playing games, dancing, taking care of sick kids, and a bunch of other great mommy/housewife skills. Oh, yeah, and she can negotiate the shirt off a salesman's back. She's pretty sharp.

Now my dad's no slouch either. He went back to school before the 3rd was born and stayed in until sometime around the 5th was born to get his CPA so he could get a job that would actually feed us all. But he's no desk jockey. My dad can water ski, shoot, build fences, remodel a kitchen, fix cars, play baseball, and that's just the short list. When his boss sent him and a bunch of other employees to self-defense training he blew everyone away by being the office guy (my dad even looks like an accountant) who could actually shoot and drive. He overcame a lot to get where he is today.

Both my parents are a lot of fun to be around. They were pretty regular about making time to play games with us and such. Of course that doesn't even begin to cover all the fun we had camping together. I've been as far north as Prince Edward's Island, Canada and as far west as Zion National Park. I've seen the sun set over both rims of the Grand Canyon and all the Great Lakes. Not bad for a little Alabama girl. We had such fun on those trips. There were plenty of times when all us kids would hole up on the back bed and play with all our dolls and stuffed animals. One time we were waving to the truckers with our dolls, and they kept honking as they passed and unnerving Dad 'cause he didn't know what they were all honking about. So we had to stop. I also remember driving through towns and across deserts while building things with our huge box of legos or playing endless rounds of gin rummy and squeak and old maid. I have a lot of good memories of my parents. However, that does not mean that I can't be honest about who I am and where I come from. My parents are wonderful people who taught me much more than how to read and do laundry, but I don't have to pretend that they were perfect in raising me and that everything they did was right. The Bible says that the truth will set you free. In order to see and speak and walk in the truth I've had to reject some bad habits and ways of thinking that came out of my experiences at home. This is different from rejecting my parents and even from disrespecting them. If this makes you uncomfortable that's ok. It made me uncomfortable at first, but if I'm going to run this race I need to know where my feet are.

Happy 100th Post to Me!

The rather discursive post below happens to be my 100th post on this blog, and I thought the milestone mildly worthy of note. No there's no prize for being here for this un-momentous event, but pop back in around the 500th post and maybe I'll hold a drawing for.....something? We'll have to see. I think my crafting skills could be roused to produce something suitable.

Thank you, dear friends for stopping by here. I sincerely enjoy the fellowship. By the way, if you'd care to be added to my list of neighborhood blogs post a comment with your url. I love having new friends to visit.

June 14, 2007

thinking things out

Earlier this evening I had been having some contractions at about 5min intervals. Since I'd been disappointed in the past I didn't want to make a big deal about anything, but I finally went and told Allen about them. In 10 min they were completely gone. I suppose if it was really the real thing they wouldn't have left, but I ended up really kicking myself about it. Allen muscle tested to see if we could figure out what had made them stop so suddenly and best we could tell it was anxiety on my part. Yeah, I know. Labor waits for no woman, and if anxiety kept women from going into labor there would be a lot more teenagers in utero. Still, sometimes it's seemed that it's been all I could do to keep going and then (bang!) I slip up and things completely stall out. Frustrating in the extreme. Of course I feel like God's getting after me for not being perfect, and Allen's telling me that's not the case 'cause God doesn't work like that, and he and I both are just getting more and more frustrated with each other and ourselves. So I'm ready literally drop everything (here, Allen, you be pregnant for a while) and go curl up in the closet somewhere until it's all over when he reminds me that we've got the baby to consider.....It's a huge fat mess.

Growing up things were simple. It was all your fault (no, really, apologizing won't help), and it just sort of stayed your fault just cause that was your purpose in life. I spent more than a few months just sort of being a walking zombie from the sheer, hopeless weight of all of it. But now I'm supposed to screw up, confess, and get on with my life without going through the whole "I feel like pond scum" thing. Right -not what I learned. So it's my stupid fault for being anxious and stalling things, but it's not my responsibility to make sure things work ok?????? Actually that does kind of make sense if I turn my head sideways and forget most of what I ever learned about God (whole also sort of existed to make my life miserable). It's pathetic I know, but there are plenty of times when I still revert to "God exists to stomp on idiots like me who can't keep their act together" mode. Allen tried to give me an analogy about if your mom tells you not to touch the stove and you do anyway and you get burned are you going to yell at your mom for letting you get burned. Well no. But that just meant that it was my fault for getting upset about something that was my fault to begin with. So now I'm doubly in trouble, and this is getting me no closer to actually going into labor.

The really pathetic thing is that in some ways I'd really rather God be mean than good. If He's just mean and arbitrary then it's all poor me, and I really needn't even bother trying 'cause God's going to get me for it anyhow. In other words -no responsibility. On top of that it's habit. It's the way I'm used to responding to messing up. Ok, so I'm getting better about somethings, but it's still a very familiar response. It doesn't even upset me really. When I start following that same old path I didn't start bawling or anything. When you're just one huge conglomeration of screw-ups tears don't really mean anything. It's just sort of who you are. Except I've been around Allen and his family long enough to mostly realize that there's a whole lot more to me than that, but I digress. I know the truth is that God is good and that He's not just waiting to blast me, but that still doesn't fit in with the rest of things very well. In some ways I really don't know how to live around that assumption. I do something wrong, and something I didn't want to happen happens, and I don't always think "Ooop, sorry God. I shouldn't have done that" and then get on with my life. Instead, there are plenty of time when I just sort of....wallow. It's a sad mix of pity and self-condemnation and God with a lightning bolt kind of thinking that tends to take over. At that point I don't really even feel anything -don't want to feel anything. The horrible thing is that so many times I'm not even sure how to break out of it. I don't want any happy clappy "ok, well God is good, so stop feeling that way" paste on a fake smile kind of answer. I don't want to skip ahead to the end of the story without going through the middle, but on the other hand I don't want to reread chapter 12 seven times in order to avoid the ending. I don't know if that even makes sense to anyone but me. I guess I just want to come by my resolutions honestly. I don't want to stuff my emotions or say the right words and not work through what I'm really thinking and feeling. I guess I just don't know how to balance the two. I guess there's a lot I don't know. For everyone's sake though I need to try. It's just so hard for me to reconcile in my mind that I am responsible for how I think and take care of my body and that God is responsible for making things work. I believe that's correct, but it completely contradicts every impulse in my body and brain. Growing up it was all your fault. God did bless and answer prayers (at least hypothetically), but mostly He was the one with a list of reasons not to bless you. After having spent around 22yrs hearing that kind of thinking and only maybe 2-3 hearing anything else I still wrestle with all this -especially on moral issues. I'm getting better about not beating myself up for not getting the laundry done on a particular day, but when it some to stuff like worry and hurting Allen and stuff that affects the baby it really tears me up, and lots of times I revert right back to habit with the added bonus of being to further beat myself up for reverting back to said habit.

Well I guess maybe I need to head back to bed. I got back up because I needed some space to calm down and think through some of this. Hopefully things will get better soon, and hopefully labor will kick in soon.

June 13, 2007

Happy Birthday Granddad

Reception (3).jpg

He has lived to see his children's children, and I fully expect him to see his children's children's children and possibly even further than that. Surely God has blessed him and blessed us through him.

June 12, 2007


I'm bored. I have an apartment to vacuum and pick up (not much thank God). Sewing I could be doing (and a sewing space to tidy), and I'm sitting here without an interest in the world in doing anything worth doing. Ok, so I want to run to Hancock's, but that will only add to the things I have to do : P Oh, the dishwasher needs emptying as well.

At least I have Elliot and Armstrong on my cd player. I really need to get some more of those guys.

Ok, boredom aside. I'm gonna go and get my bedroom straight. Actually bedroom, living room, vacuuming shouldn't take more than half an hour. Better get to it so it will be done.

Oh yeah, I'm also due today. They say only %5 of babies are born on their due date, but considering how strange this pregnancy has been all bets are currently off. Come on Baby!

June 11, 2007

I am not irreplaceable (and that's a good thing)

During the past few months I've started to realize that some of my scrabbling around the internet has been prompted by a desire to find some place that "needs" my comments and presence. Really, there's no such place. Even in in real life there's no place that wouldn't survive without me. A woman before 20-something weeks gestation is about as irreplaceable as it's possible to get. Does this mean that my husband and family don't need me? Of course not. But I'm not God to be irreplaceable in their lives. God is not optional. I am. This might sound bleak and harsh even though really it's just the opposite. Grasping at relationships and searching for personal significance in the comments section to a particular blog is suffocating, strangling, and life-wasting for myself and whoever I happen to be around. Learning to accept that I can be a true blessing in other people's lives without being absolutely essential to their lives and well being is freeing and life-affirming.....and really scary. If I'm not irreplaceable then I can, by definition, be replaced. If I can be replaced that means I might be replaced and that it might even be better if I was replaced. For anyone who's ever dealt with feeling/being rejected or has some lingering fear of rejection the idea of being replaceable is a pretty scary one. Sometimes it's so easy to jump in our minds from "can be replaced" to "will be replaced" even when we know rationally that it's very unlikely. Ultimately, as I mentioned above, the need to be irreplaceable is really a push to co-opt God's place in our relationships with other people since God is the sole originator of life and goodness. Yet in our drive to be needed beyond the possibility of rejection we demand people pay us the homage they owe God and in our hubris pretend that we are essential to the other person's life and happiness. As much as I would like to go gently on this because of the deep wounds that lead many of us here honesty compels me to plainly say that no matter the road that lead you here, if you are acting this way then you are in capitol letter SIN. Your wounds may be deep and your healing slow, but sin will not staunch your (or my) wounds for long. What does all this mean? In the end it means surrendering to trust. It means actually truly believing my husband when he says that he loves me more than anything else in the world and wouldn't trade me for anything he could name. It means looking my fears of rejection square in the eye and telling them where to exit is. It means rejoicing that God is God and that I am a little sparrow in the Kingdom of Heaven. Trust is the key. More than simply being trusting though this requires trust in God that even when your trust in other people leads to betrayal and pain that God is taking care of you. Even as we can't be God to other people we can't let them be God to us. Their betrayal will not kill us or take something essential away from us so long as we hold to God's sufficiency above all. As Jesus said, "Even a sparrow cannot fall to the ground apart from my Father's knowledge, and you are worth more than many sparrows." Let us confess our need to play God and admit to one another that we are not irreplaceable and that it's a good thing.

searching for significance

While at a family reunion of my father-in-law's family one of my brother's-in-law asked me, "So, what have you been up to lately?" A simple question but it left my head spinning over the past few weeks looking for a remotely interesting answer. "Nothing much," I answered. He's an engineering student with a job at Thompson Tractor who just got back from an engineering competition in South Dakota and who converses well on a number of subjects that fly right over my head (and occasionally my interest). You should hear him and Allen discussing things. In a way he's doing all the things that I was taught to consider valuable -getting his degree, impressing his boss, etc. Nowadays (when I'm not in a slump) I spend a good bit of my day picking up the apartment, cleaning, cooking, buying groceries and sundries, planning out ways to get more storage out of our limited closet and wall space, wandering around the internet, working on little sewing/craft projects, reading, etc. In other words, on a good day I do a myriad of things (including those things that really don't have much interest even for me) and who's only goal in the doing is to not be doing them as quickly as possible. In many ways this isn't work that I was taught to value. However, going to college and becoming something important was valued. Another part of my discontent with my work is likely that at home any work I did was considered a bare minimum. Getting straight A's through college (except for one B) was the bare minimum. Coming home and working on laundry or picking up the bathroom or helping in the kitchen was the bare minimum. In other words, a good grade or a clean bathroom was no reason to get excited because I merely did what was expected of me, and I'd immediately be faced the task of trying (and occasionally failing) to meet their expectations again. The point is that by training and possibly even inclination I tend to view even the best day's work at little better than what had to be done and something that probably should have been done yesterday. Until I can break out of this cycle of thinking about my own work as a housewife I think I'll likely be stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction and disinclination with and for the work I do everyday. It's not that what I do has no meaning; it's just that I'm searching for the proper meaning to it. I'm searching for the significance of a floor vacuumed and laundry folded. I can't say that I've found it yet, but at least I know what I looking for now. And as I get better as tending to my responsibilities I'm sure the scope of them will enlarge, and I'll find it easier to answer my brother-in-law's question with a satisfied, "Well, when I haven't been chasing a toddler and tending the baby and generally keeping up the house I've been poking at x, and it's been a really good week."

June 6, 2007

Sad news

I just found out that one of my former professors died two months ago. I'll put up a more fitting tribute to him when I'm better able to write coherently. Since he taught me to write I need to make it good, and that won't be easy. I won't be able to make you know the scholar and poet and writer and mentor that I knew, but at least I can try. His memory deserves no less.

on anxiety

I confess that I've been rather anxious about how things have been going. Am I resting enough? Am I resting too much? Should I bounce on the rebounder or go for a walk? Are there any herbs I should be taking? Are there any I'm taking that I shouldn't be? Am I believing God the way I should be? Should I be praying about things more? If I squinted my right eye and hopped on my left foot while twiddling my thumbs would that make the baby come any sooner?

Sooooooo, here goes. Be anxious for nothing but in everything with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Having prayed with thanksgiving, making my requests know to God I confess that the peace of God which passes all understanding does in fact guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Where this peace is there can be no anxiety. I furthermore confess that the love of God, being poured out on, in, and through me, does drive out all fear in my life. Because I am filled with God's love there is no room for fear within me no matter what I might otherwise be tempted to think. When I am tempted to fear I need to remember that God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. Any spirit of fear that tries to distract me does not come from God. Instead of fear I have power, love, and sound mind. Because of the Word of God in my life I am not now nor will become anxious about when labor will start or how it will go or anything else connected to giving birth. I will instead rest in God's peace and trust Him for the outcome.

This I declare and confess.

how not to address someone

I just received an anonymous comment from a woman who signed herself "a sister in Christ" and who proceeded to rebuke me for sins she believes me to have committed. However, that post isn't going to be posted or responded to until at the very least I get a name to go with it. The Bible says that if we have problem with someone we are to go to that person and address them directly and privately. The Bible also says someone can't be convicted save on agreeing testimony from 2 or 3 reliable witnesses. Since this person may not have means of coming to me privately (this is the internet after all), that part of things doesn't really bother me. What is completely inappropriate (and unbiblical) is for her to expect me to answer or even seriously consider her charges without knowing who has accused me.

June 5, 2007

Dancing in my living room

Back when Allen and I actually had to find/make opportunities to see each other we used to go dancing every Thursday night at a local university. Those lovely evenings in the gym spent swinging our way around the floor are among my dearest memories....But then we got married and moved to a place where every week the local swing dance association held a dance within walking distance of our apartment only to find that grad school left me little time for dancing and being married actually took away some of our reasons for going dancing in the first place. So we just sort of stopped going. Then we moved back to whence we first came, but in starting our new routine there were some things we just never picked back up.

This evening I was banging about rather aimlessly back in our computer/sewing room, when I finally looked up at Allen and said "Let's go dance in the living room." We still remember how to dance and how to have fun doing it. I will admit that now I can snuggle up to him all night every night dancing doesn't make the same little shivers run tingling along my spine, but it brings back all the memories of the times when it did. Now, the sharp awareness of not belonging has been exchanged for the equally heady warmth of belonging. It strikes me that we learned to dance together while we very aware of just how much we didn't belong to each other. Perhaps we need to learn to dance as though we do belong together and didn't merely hope to one day. We do finally have a living room big enough... I didn't realize marriage changed everything so much.

Well, I think I actually woke up

My body must be so out of whack because I got a second wind last night at about 12:00 and kept going until 4:00 (yes, am). Then I slept until noon, and now I'm feeling fairly awake. I really feel better when I get on a more regular sleep schedule of being in bed by 11:00 and then getting up in the morning. I know my liver would be be a lot happier. I was awake when my liver wanted me to be asleep so it could clean out in peace, and gracious did it pitch a fit about me staying up! I felt like I had a stitch in my side almost. I took some milk thistle and drank some herbal tea to soothe it, but I really need to get to bed earlier tonight. Ummm, what am I talking about? Your body has certain natural rhythms of working, cleaning, and resting. Often your body cleans out while you're asleep and not taxing it by trying to stay awake and get your million and a half things done. The liver cleans out sometime around 12 or 1 am I believe. Yawn. Did I say I was awake. That must have been wishful thinking. Whatever, I need to jump on the mini-tramp and take my herbs for the day. Maybe that will help. Since I've been gently contracting since Sunday night I don't think this is a good time for me to get exhausted. I don't know if that will absolutely keep my contrax from getting stronger or what, but either way I can't say that being sleep deprived helps anything. Ok, nevermind about the title of this post. I'm gonna take a cat nap.

June 2, 2007

When the lion roars

Throughout this pregnancy I've lived with the roar of the one who roams the earth seeking those he might devour echoing in my ears. It's taken me a while to learn how to respond to that sound, but with God's grace I'm getting better. Hear now the Word of the Lord!

For God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and of love and a sound mind.

I do not have a spirit of fear. The roars of the enemy are calls to battle and not to fear. Instead of fear I have a spirit of power -power over the lies of Satan and the snares of the enemy, power to reject fear and stand on Christ's victory, power to take my thoughts captive and not be led astray. I have a spirit of love which leaves no room for fear in my life. The love of God is my life's breath and because of it I can love all around me. Love frees me from the paralysis of fear and gives me the strength and joy to endure until tomorrow. I have a sound mind that I can stand firm on the promises of God and not fear that they are too grand or good for me. I do not fear what other people may say about me because I trust in the promise that God is present in my thoughts and decisions and leads me in wisdom and righteousness. Because I have a sound mind I do not have to second guess my motivations and actions. Instead I trust in the power of God to call me to repentance. I repent as God leads me, and I refuse to worry about the rest.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Because Christ's blood covers me and His righteousness has been imputed to me by grace I cannot be condemned. Though I may struggle and sin I stand justified before my most holy God because of the redeeming sacrifice of Christ on my behalf. As a member of Christ's glorious bride the Church I have been set apart for Him, and nothing will separate me from the love of God. There is no charge that can be brought against me that would make me stand condemned before the God of the universe. Let men call me a drunkard, a glutton, a liar, a fool, a blasphemer or any number of things. Let men cast all kinds of aspersions on my name and speak all manner of things against me. I am innocent before God.

For Christ is faithful and just to purify us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

My sinfulness does not stand between me and God because He is faithful in drawing me to Himself. Because Christ is faithful I do not have to worry about my own sins. In His own time and by His own means He is leading me to righteousness. Likewise, since the cleansing is of Christ and not my own effort I do not have to obsess over my own faults.

This I confess.