April 28, 2007

wandering down a companionable street

It seems that I've peeked into quite a few windows of late -by which I mean that I've been to a few blogs. No peeping toms here! But it's so interesting. Peek into one window and you'll find half-harried/half-laughing mom amid her joyfully erupting family. Through another window you see a woman placidly sewing while an open book reposes tempting on the coffee table. Walk down yet a little further and you will see a pair of young mothers chatting together as they shepherd their tiny flock. If you were to stroll down that side path there you'd come to a pristine little house with quaint old dishes and dainty linens. Some rooms you spy are crisp and businesslike, other cluttered with old books or children's toys. A few have cozy little needle-point cushions scattered over be-tassled chairs. What fun to peer through these windows and see all the various scenes of life enacted. Yet eventually I return to my own window. Do I like what I see? The scene through that window wants work. And yet, there is much love. Amid the boxes still unpacked and the dishes still unwashed there is love. And with that love comes healing and strength. One box, one attitude, one dish, one prayer -one simple step at a time all things are coming to where they belong to be. But then...that's true of all life and not just what you see through my window.

April 25, 2007


I know that post has some formatting issues, but I really don't know how they got there or what to do to get rid of them. They just popped up in the preview.

God's Word on Health

This is taken from a list I posted on the CMOMB forum in response to some questions.

What the Bible has to say about health:

Luke 7:18 The disciples of John reported all these things to him. And John, 19 calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to the Lord, saying, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” 20 And when the men had come to him, they said, “John the Baptist has sent us to you, saying, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?’” 21 In that hour he healed many people of diseases and plagues and evil spirits, and on many who were blind he bestowed sight. 22 And he answered them, “Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers [5] are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them. 23 And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.

God is about health and healing. Christ's ministry was about healing and restoration of our souls, minds, and bodies.

Ps. 38:1 O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger,
nor discipline me in your wrath!
2 For your arrows have sunk into me,
and your hand has come down on me.
3 There is no soundness in my flesh
because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
because of my sin.

4 For my iniquities have gone over my head;
like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.
5 My wounds stink and fester
because of my foolishness,
6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
all the day I go about mourning.
7 For my sides are filled with burning,
and there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am feeble and crushed;
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

Our sins and mental attitudes, even the judgment of God can affect our health and our ability to heal.

Prov 16:24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Prov 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Grace and hope are healing and healthy emotions. A lack of these in one's life may indicate a lack of spiritual and physical health.

James 5:13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Sickness and healing are at least partially under the purvey of the church. Confession and prayer are part of (if not essential to) healing.

Prov 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
7 Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.

Need I say more?

Prov 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Again, joy is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up to bones. Arthritis? Osteoporosis? MS? This could have bearing on a number of crippling conditions.

Prov 4:20 My son, be attentive to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Let them not escape from your sight;
keep them within your heart.
22 For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.

Quite explicit

Prov 14:30 A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh,
but envy makes the bones rot.

Prov 15:4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Again, see the above comments.

Ps. 31:9 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
my eye is wasted from grief;
my soul and my body also.

10 For my life is spent with sorrow,
and my years with sighing;
my strength fails because of my iniquity,
and my bones waste away.

Grief, excessive sorrow, sin --all these things affect our health.

Prov 10:27 The fear of the Lord prolongs life,
but the years of the wicked will be short.

Prov 14:26 In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence,
and his children will have a refuge.
27 The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life,
that one may turn away from the snares of death.

Prov 19:23 The fear of the Lord leads to life,
and whoever has it rests satisfied;
he will not be visited by harm.

The fear of the Lord, being in right relationship with Him, is health and life to us.

Prov 21:21 Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness
will find life, righteousness, and honor.

Romans 8:6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

How we live and how we think affects us physically.

Not just in these verses, but throughout the Bible we see the importance of the spiritual and emotional to our physical health.
How we think and act -what we really believe about God- affects our bodies. I know this experientially. There have been times when my husband and I have had to repent and confess our sins to each other before our bodies would begin healing. Other times I have needed to seek peace or repent of my anger and unforgiveness in order to heal. The Word of Life is just that. It is life to our souls and our bodies. This does not mean that every cancer or cold is necessarily caused by sin and unbelief. You have merely to look at the blind man who sinned not, neither did his parents, but had been born blind that the glory of God may be revealed. However, I believe that we should look to our hearts and souls first if we really want to enjoy good health. Jesus didn't just heal people to get attention -it was an integral part of the Good News of salvation. Healing for our souls and our bodies.

I hope this explains a few things. I'll post about muscle testing later. It was important to get this up first though because it gives a pretty good foundation for how I think about health.

April 23, 2007

quick note

I had told a couple of people that I was going to post some more about health and muscle testing and such, but our internet went out over the weekend. It's back now, but I've got a few projects going at the moment. I'll post back when I have time to sit down and gather my thoughts together.

April 14, 2007

tired and random

We're having one of those damp, drippy days here, and that's about how I feel myself. Lately I've been tired and lethargic and apathetic. So much so that I'm not even sure I want to finish this post! Cover your eyes you early rising ladies because I am about to confess that I slept until a quarter to one today. Usually on Saturday morning I'm the one wondering when Allen's going to get up because I want to start on the day. Instead I woke up to find out that I'd overslept the legendary crack of noon for no appreciable reason. That is, until Allen commented on how my breath smelled funny (doesn't is usually when I get up?) and deduced from that, my recent lethargy, and a little muscle testing that my liver had started cleansing. At least that explains why I've been so tired lately. I never knew it until a few months ago, but not only to emotion affect your body they can affect specific organs in your body. For instance, a sluggish and tired liver can be clogged with negative emotions. When you start releasing those emotions your liver has the opportunity to clean out. Considering the emotional backlog I've been working through these past few days and weeks it's really no surprise that I've started spontaneously cleansing. Emotions that I've dealt with for at least 10-15 years have started coming out into the open and being revealed as the damaging lies and habits they are. Like I mentioned in my recent post about the pot calling the kettle black there have been some ways of thinking that I've just held on to, and even as they were poisoning my mind they were poisoning and weakening my body. Many of these emotional habits I believe go back at least one or two generations. I learned them from my mom who easily could have learned them from her mom and so forth. It's not like I woke up one morning and decided I was going to be a self-condemning, guilt ridden person. I don't think my mom did either. Yet these attitudes creep into our lives and left unchecked can become destructive, unBiblical habits. Fortunately with the help of my husband and his mom and more than my fair share of grace I've been able to work through some of these issues. This doesn't mean that I won't ever act according to those old habits again. It does mean that by God's grace the power of those habits over me has been broken. And, as my liver can testify, as God goes to work cleansing and purifying my mind, my body follows with it. No this isn't what you learn in highschool anatomy, but it is true -even Biblical. Christ came healing and preaching salvation. The two things are part of each other. This has certainly been true in my life.

April 11, 2007


Nancy Wilson has her own blog. You can see it here. Her husband said that she's going to be putting a whole bunch of materials that she's collected over the years. If it's anything like her Credenda/Adenda column expect to be regularly challenged and encouraged over a whole range of topics that concern us as women.

and then the pot called the kettle black...

That's me right here. When something comes up with a friend or someone on-line I'm the first to say "Don't condemn yourself. Say Scripture. Remember that guilt (that that thing that drives us away from God and makes us miserable) is a lie from Satan," and then when I start experiencing guilt and condemnation I wallow in it until someone turns the water hose of truth on me. My MIL has a way of doing that for me that I would never have expected when I first met her. That's one reason why I'm so glad that we're in town. I just went over to her house and talked to her for a couple of hours about everything that has been going on, and she is just such a source of wisdom and encouragement. Praise God that there are people around us to remind us of God's truth.

I suppose I need to run get us some supper. Fortunately I have some left overs, but I think I'd better hit the recipe books. I've been getting tired more easily and spending an hour chopping veggies just doesn't appeal to me much right now. Maybe I should go hunt up some more crock pot meals before I go out and buy veggies tomorrow.

Grace and Goodness

These past few weeks have been really rough on me -like deep, biting, envious depression. Just seeing a pregnant woman in the grocery store would set me off. I've wanted a normal pregnancy so bad that it hurts. I saw on this one forum where a woman had heard her baby's heartbeat for the first time, and I just cried. It didn't seem fair that I had to walk this road. The worst part was when I'd walk around going "You can't be pregnant. This is crazy. Just give it up already." But I couldn't. I can't. Just when things get their blackest I'll get this thump in my tummy saying "Yoohoo?! Don't you know I'm in here, Mom?" And then I'll start thinking that maybe I'm imagining things and start railing to my husband about how God is screwing me over and how I can't be good enough to please God and all sorts of crazy things. But the hardest part of all is that a. God is gracious, and b. God is good. The really burdensome part is that it seems that a large part of what has been going on is tied to my spiritual and emotional habits and beliefs. That's what's hardest for me -the feeling that if only I did things right that all of a sudden things would pop into place and be normal. But apparently it doesn't work like that, and the pressure and guilt I had put on myself was rapidly driving me into some pretty thick depression. Part of the grace is that even though there's plenty of stuff for me to work on here it's still all by God's grace. The burden really isn't on my shoulders however much I feel or act like it. Also, God is by definition good. All things work together for good etc. So no matter how mad I get at God for putting me in this situation those are two things that I cannot deny. And really, as much as I hate looking at some of my circumstances and calling them good, my only hope is in the goodness of God. If He's not good and good to me, then what you come out with is a mean, vengeful, capricious God who's only concerned about Himself. Of course being God He gets to make the rules, but praise God that He does care about us. Of course sometimes that just makes it harder. It's easier to look at a hard situation and rant against God than to accept it as something that is ultimately good. It's easier to believe God is smiting us for some malicious reasons of His own than to accept difficulty as coming from the hand of our loving Father. I've been there and done that, and it's a dark place. I'll probably go there again even though I know otherwise. But yes, God is gracious, and God is good. Let that be true and everything else I know a lie.

April 9, 2007

An Easter story

Sometimes you get to hear those rare people with a real gift for storytelling. Last night our church invited such a pastor to come tell us of Easter. His voice resonated as he told of the story of Cleopas -one of the seventy who was sent out by Jesus to heal and preach and who later talked with Jesus on the road to Emmaus. We heard his exultation when he saw the demons fleeing at the name of Jesus and his joy in being part of that. We listened as he told us of Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem and how he thought that surely Jesus would soon drive out the Romans and take up David's throne. How he was puzzled when, after his glorious display of authority in the temple, Jesus simply went back to preaching and performing miracles. He brought us into the circle of those outside the upper room and the rumors buzzing around about Judas and betrayal and then the news of Jesus' arrest. With him we stood amazed as a mad crowd cried out for Barabbas and condemned Jesus to the cross. We saw his grief over the tortures to which they put Jesus. At the hill of Golgatha he shared his confusion and pain that Jesus, who could heal and drive out demons and even raise the dead, seemed unable to save himself from the cross. We heard him repeat Jesus' last words and wonder over what they meant. Finally, we saw a weary and discouraged man walking down the road to Emmaus. The man who had been his strength and his joy and for whom he had left everything was gone. Sure some of the women had reported finding the tomb empty and an angel who had told them that Jesus had risen, but what did any of that mean anyway? He had seen Jesus die and didn't see how He could be other than dead. Presently another man joined them and, upon discovering what they were talking about, chided their lack of understanding and began to open the Scriptures to them. Cleopas shared his amazement as the stranger opened passage after passage to them and explained the prophecies to them. Then, when they finally sat down together in Emmaus and asked the learned stranger to bless their meal, they saw something wonderful. As he broke the break they saw that the stranger was Jesus! Immediately he left them, but just to know Jesus was alive was enough! That very hour Cleopas and his friend hurried back to Jerusalem and told the Twelve all that had happened and learned what had happed to them. There the story ends. But the story of Jesus Christ continues on, and we are part of it. Praise God!

April 5, 2007

some memories still hurt

I was poking around on Facebook when I noticed a group about a church I used to go to back when I'd just started highschool. It was one of those "dynamic," "growing" churches that had a glittering youth and children's ministry. The youth group itself was larger than some churches I've been to. They had ministry retreats, plays, musical programs, their own band, camps, game nights, interns from a local university. You name this group had a it. For a while things were good. I was a new kid, and I was homeschooled. That made me a novelty. Couple that with the fact that I didn't fit in very well, and I became a bit of project for the youth director...until he found out that there wasn't really anything wrong with me and that there wasn't anything he could really do for me. Then he just sort of left me alone. We just thought we were the coolest church around. We were Kevin Derryberry's home church. Student life staff and members of the acting group "All Things to All People" went to that church. We'd go to Student Life conference, and I'd actually met most of the folks up on stage. But I never really fit. In a church full of rich kids and public school kids and kids from broken homes we were too normal and too different at the same time. I dressed funny. I wore homemade shirts in outlandish patterns and in general looked nothing like them. I didn't drive. I wasn't allowed to ride with many people. I lived to far away to be driven to some stuff. I didn't know how to fit in with them. I didn't listen to their music, or watch their movies, or go to their schools. I didn't know how to talk to them. The one time I found someone I started to feel comfortable with some other girls swooped in and that was that. I still remember the names and faces of some of them -more faces than names. These were the people who'd hug you on Wednesday night and not think to call you on Thursday. I don't suppose it was really their fault. Something just didn't fit there. Eventually we left the church because the pastor said something my folks couldn't stomach, and that was that. I have some old Kevin Derryberry cd's, and to this day the pictures inside the cd make me sad. I remember all the faces -faces of people whom I desperately wanted to like me and know me. I had several people say that they admired me or that I inspired them to do something or the other. I suppose I should be grateful for that. Mostly though I just remember that inspiring someone isn't very fulfilling when what you really want them to do is come and give you a hug and invite you over to spend the night and watch a movie with them. I don't remember ever really feeling such a raging loneliness as when I went to that church. I don't know if my need was greater or if I merely let myself feel the need more -no matter. Now that I'm married and have such a dear friend with whom I walk in daily companionship I don't feel the need near so strong. But I still mourn over that young teenage girl who wanted so desperately for someone to love her and found only empty, beautiful words hanging like delicate bubbles in the air. Sometimes I still wish she could have been happier.

April 4, 2007

Feeling whiney...

I'm tired. This apartment is a wreck. There are boxes and paper everywhere. Fortunately there are a good many more /empty/ boxes, but the clutter is starting to get to me. I really don't want to go start supper. I want the magic pizza man to come, but I'm really trying to not encourage us to eat out very much. I know things will get better, but there's just so much little stuff to do. I don't mind moving boxes around, but when you're trying to figure out where the measuring cups go and what to do with the pan that won't fit /anywhere/ it can get kind of frustrating.

Anyway, I feel better now that I've got that out of my system. I going to try and bust my rear off this couch and go put the spaghetti on.

The thrift store is my friend

Over the past year I've discovered that, in my not so humble opinion, I'm a born bargain hunter. I didn't say I was the best, but I love to do, and so far it's really paid off. Of course all the credit really goes to God who leads me to the places where I can find what He has so graciously arranged to be there. Anyway, yesterday I went to the Salvation Army Thrift Store and found a huge, square, wood framed mirror for $9.99. This thing is probably 2-1/2 -3ft square at least with this curious old frame around it. Even since I saw that mantle I've been wanting a mirror to put above it. Of course now I don't know where to put the wonderful picture we bought before we got married, but I'll figure something out. The only bad thing about my find though is that I found some star shaped mirrors at Bed Bath and Beyond selling 3 for $25 that I just know would look absolutely perfect on either side of my mirror. The more I think about the more I'm having to restrain myself from rushing off to buy them this minute. LOL I guess this is me in a nut shell. One minute roaming around looking for super cheap mirrors only to want to run off the next minute and buy an expensive complement. Considering that I saved $50 the other day by buying one set of shelves instead of the other...

Ok, I just need to go talk to Allen about this.

We're here!

I finally got to unpack the silverware my granny bought us for our wedding! The secondhand stuff we were using will be gratefully returned to Allen's grandparents so it can be reused when one of the other boys needs it. I really don't have a thing against second hand, but I've been wanting to get this set unpacked and ready to use. It has about every serving piece I could imagine and more than a couple that I didn't. I can't wait to figure out what some of these pieces are for. Other than that I am still in a sea of boxes and newsprint. Since we quickly discovered that they'd left out a whole (big) closet I've spent the last couple of days hunting up storage solutions. Praise the Lord though, because I can make everything work without the closet, and they're going to drop our rent to boot. It won't be a lot of money, but it will pay for some of the utilities that they don't cover. Really, all I've had to do is rethink how I use space. For instance, some of the nice things I used to keep on the baker's rack can be moved to the mantle (yes, this place has a woodburning fireplace) to make room for the dishes. Since I don't have a ton of cabinet space in the kitchen this will help free up space for other things. Even then I think I'm going to have to get a little creative in how I store things in there. Most of the linens (bath towels were a huge hit at our showers) go in the very tippy top of a closet in the other bedroom. The rest go on a shelf unit I bought to go over the toilet. Since the closets are tall and have double hanging bars I can get pretty much all our clothes (with the exception of one's we're currently using) in one closet in the back bedroom and leave the other closet for storing boxes ie Christmas things, winter clothes, etc. I'll keep our closet for clothes and shoes that we need now and just rotate things between the closets. It's going to be a good apartment I think. I have a ton of ideas for fixing things up and decorating and such. It's going to be hard for me to switch gears and think about getting baby stuff ready.