contemplations on moving

I've had mixed feelings about moving away from Knoxville. Of course our apartment is ridiculously small for three, and we'd soon want to move anyway. Certainly I look forward to seeing family on a more regular basis and without the added burden of a four hour drive. Our new apartment is lovely, and I can't wait to have room to set up my sewing machine and jump into some projects. I'd like to make me an Easter dress if I possibly can. Part of it is that I just don't like moving. It's a lot of work, and you end up saying goodbye to too many people. Also, this will be my third move in less than a year. I moved once before we got married, then we moved up here, and now we're going back. Too much moving. I'm ready to be in one place for a while. But I think there's more too than that. When Allen and I moved up we were starting a whole new phase in our lives. We had just gotten married, and I had just started my graduate program. These were going to be our carefree college town years. In our tiny third story apartment the world lay at our feet. Looking out the window we can see the Sunsphere. It's only a short walk from there to Market Square and its interesting little shops and restaurants. Allen and I have walked there many times. Go a few blocks the opposite way, back towards the strip, and you'll find Laurel Theatre where the Knoxville Swing Dance Association meets on Wednesday nights. Get on the highway and drive East for about an hour or so and you can get to Smokey Mountains National Park. We have everything. Vintage shops, dancing. hiking - everything within reach. Now that we're leaving I sort of feel bad that we didn't take more advantage of it all. But school started driving me harder and harder; the weather turned unpleasantly cold for walking, and with the added stress of pregnancy I had several bouts of malaise and sickness that left me with little inclination for being out unnecessarily. The fact is that we're moving into a different phase of our lives at a time when I thought we'd still be footloose and enjoying urban life, and I mourn that this season of our lives is drawing speedily to a close. This not to say that I have any regrets. Never for one second have I wished that Allen and I had been more "careful" with regards to pregnancy. I once thought that baby fever was something only unpregnant women got, but there are days when I can't wait to meet this little person growing inside me and snuggle and nurse. I will admit to some times having an absolutely craving to nurse. Yes, I've heard that it can be hard and exhausting and even painful at times, but oh to see that little head snuggled down into your chest. I cannot wait. As you can see I'm very excited about this new phase in our lives. I welcome it eagerly. Yet, here we have been newly weds. Here I first cooked for husband and made my first biscuits. Here we walked to the first church that welcomed us as husband and wife. I set our first Christmas tree in the window here and wrapped presents in the bedroom while Allen worked. This has been our first home. Two weeks from today I will be sitting in my new home. The home into which Allen and I will welcome our first child. But I shall miss this place. I certainly shall.