January 29, 2009

moderate desire

A few weeks back I had a friend asking me if working for my friend taking care of her kids didn't give me baby fever -especially considering how I'd go on about the cute baby. The short answer is yes and no. I will free admit that I adore the baby I get to keep and really enjoy the two older kids as well. I would love to have kids someday. Yet, I'm also seeing how much I simply get to walk away from that I wouldn't as a mom. At most we're talking 6 hours and that not with all three at once and that not even every day. I don't have to make sure school uniforms are clean, lunches are packed, rooms are cleans, hair is washed, etc. If the kids are having a fractious day I know that in a few more hours I'll be able to come home, put on a cup of tea, and pick up my book. In other words, there are distinct advantages to not having kids. There are just some things that are easier for me to do. On the other hand, the more time I spend with those kids the more I enjoy them. The oldest wants to come help me cook, the boy wants to climb on my back and show me his trains, and the baby is as cute and snuggly as a rosy cheeked girl can be. Some days are longer than other, but on the whole I love my job. I finally feel like I'm doing the sort of thing I'd want to do even if I didn't get paid for it, and for a girl who'd like to have kids that's really encouraging. That's why I say yes and no when people ask me about baby fever. Yes I want kids, but I also realize that I have an opportunity now to soak up some of the health, strength, discipline, and resourcefulness that would be sorely lacking if I was trying to juggle a couple of my own right now. That's all.

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