After much extensive political analysis (snort) I've decided that I should like to start a new political party. I will call it The Lazy Party. Our motto is "we don't give a damn what you do so long as I don't have to do anything about it." Got a problem with your public school? Take it up with the principle. Public schools got a problem with parents yanking kids out of school? Take it up with the parents. (waves hands dismissively) I'm gonna go play table football with the Hon Senator Sittsdown. Huh? You don't think this will work? Let me tell you something. For the past who knows how long we've had little but eager beaver idealistic moneygrubbers campaigning to do this that and the other when really most of them just wanted to hang out by the banks of the money river and take a few swigs. You've gotten higher taxes, more regulations, more interference, and less efficiency and sanity as the terms have come and gone. Personally, I want in office because I'm tired of sitting at my desk all day and playing solitaire when the boss's not looking. I'd rather play tag with the Representatives on the front lawn. So here's the deal. You vote us into office and give us enough root beer and baseball tickets to keep us occupied, and we'll leave you alone. If a bill lapses who cares? We probably didn't need it anyway. Vote us into office and Congress will quickly stop caring what you do so long as we don't have to lift a finger about it. Shut up. Stop whining. Start living.
Of course nowadays narry a person would dare vote for someone like that. Heck, you can't even get them to vote Libertarian, but I'd rather have a self-avowed lazy congressman who didn't give a darn what I did than have one so interested in the minute details of my life that I couldn't turn around without running into his leering gaze. And if you think liberal or conservative mean a thing these days you are so far down in the paper bag someone's going to drop some Canton noodles on your head any second now.