May 3, 2007

still going around...

So we did the ultrasound today. Such as it was. After waiting for over an hour she only spent maybe five minutes checking me. Obviously she didn't find anything that looked too much like a wiggly baby in there 'cause otherwise she would have surely commented on it. So now we just wait to see the doctor...which should happen in about 12 hours. Right now I'm just tired. There's definitely something going on with my body -nobody seems to be able to figure out what it is though. All they can do is say, "Well, maybe you should get this checked out." I'm still not giving up hope of a baby. Right now though I'm just ready for all this to be over. Allen thinks it's quite likely that the Doc'll order another ultrasound tomorrow, so it could be another long day. (grimace) I'm really just tired of this. So is Allen. In many ways he's much stronger than me, but it's starting to wear him down as well. I still have an unexplained lump in my stomach. I'm still experiencing other physical symptoms. Even as I was lying on the u/s table I felt something moving along the top of my stomach. When this is all over I don't know if I'm going to have a tumor, a baby, or a recommendation to meet with a shrink. Hopefully the second of the three, but if that's the case God must be planning to pull off a big one here. Which I readily grant He's capable of. It can just be a little wearying to us spectators. Come on God. Show up for me here. I'm getting tired and feeling lost. Have mercy on us.

5 comments:

Loren said...

(((Nat)))
hang in there!

Sallie said...

Natalie --

I'm so sorry! I've been reading for a while and I think I met you at CMOMB(?). Sweetie, God hasn't left you. I know that all seems so hard but He's still right there with you. Let Him carry you through this process.. God bless!

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and praying for you.
He's there for you even when it seems otherwise.
Wish a hug would make it all easier:)

Bobbie-Jo

Trina said...

waiting anxiously for your news - I admire your strength to stand where you feel God has directed. God bless your husband, too!

Natalie said...

Well, we did see the doc, but we're waiting to hear from him about the blood work. I've been occasionally feeling these sort of spastic-y sensations in my abdomen which I guess are braxton hicks contractions, so I guess things are gearing up for something regardless of what the ultrasound said.