still going around...

So we did the ultrasound today. Such as it was. After waiting for over an hour she only spent maybe five minutes checking me. Obviously she didn't find anything that looked too much like a wiggly baby in there 'cause otherwise she would have surely commented on it. So now we just wait to see the doctor...which should happen in about 12 hours. Right now I'm just tired. There's definitely something going on with my body -nobody seems to be able to figure out what it is though. All they can do is say, "Well, maybe you should get this checked out." I'm still not giving up hope of a baby. Right now though I'm just ready for all this to be over. Allen thinks it's quite likely that the Doc'll order another ultrasound tomorrow, so it could be another long day. (grimace) I'm really just tired of this. So is Allen. In many ways he's much stronger than me, but it's starting to wear him down as well. I still have an unexplained lump in my stomach. I'm still experiencing other physical symptoms. Even as I was lying on the u/s table I felt something moving along the top of my stomach. When this is all over I don't know if I'm going to have a tumor, a baby, or a recommendation to meet with a shrink. Hopefully the second of the three, but if that's the case God must be planning to pull off a big one here. Which I readily grant He's capable of. It can just be a little wearying to us spectators. Come on God. Show up for me here. I'm getting tired and feeling lost. Have mercy on us.