February 27, 2007

moving, driving, and in general going crazy

So, after our recent debacle with the women's center in town and the midwife in Alabama (don't ask right now) I have no idea in the world where or how I'm going to be giving birth and even what state I'm going to be in when it happens. Given that I'm over halfway there...it's quite an interesting situation all around. Anyway, we just recently got back from our visit in Alabama (4+hrs one way), and we're about to turn around again and drive right back to look at a couple more apartments. And I do mean a couple -two to be unmistakably precise. That makes me rather nervous. For all I know some well minded people are going to go calling on certain offices to sign pieces of paper that will have me scouring the internet (again) for possible places to live. NOT FUN. I spend hours and hours tracking down information, trying to find decent apartments at decent prices, and I'm left here hoping and praying that one of these two will work out. I know God will provide, but I'll still feel better knowing how. On top of all that I've got the flopsies. All I want to do is flop down on the couch and stitch or goof off on the computer. Can't say that's conducive to getting anything done around here. ERRRRRRRRRG! Fortunately Allen has been very sweet and patient about everything, but it doesn't help that I know exactly what I need to do and yet seem uniquely incapable of getting any of it done. I admit that looking at my current inadequacies there are times when I'm tempted to despair at the thought of attempting to keep up with my responsibilities and take care of another human being at the same time. Allen's pretty easy. If things get too out of hand I can always send him to fend for himself for a little while. Not so with this little one. (Who incidentally just kicked me -she's getting stronger and moving more.) God will provide; God will provide.... God! Can I handle all this? Sometimes I wonder. Hopefully things will get clearer in the next few weeks. Until then I'd better enjoy learning to live by faith since it appears that's the lesson God has set before me whether I like it or not.

4 comments:

Serena said...

Oh, I've been there! Well, not exactly where you are, but I wondered before my baby was born if I'd be capable of taking care of her and EVERYTHING else. I won't go into everything. But, it's been thirteen months, and we're still here! All I can say, and I'm sure you've heard it before, is that the Lord won't give you more than you can handle! It's true! You may kick and scream, perhaps literally, and cry, but you'll get through it. Your husband sounds wonderful, like my husband. When the baby comes, don't be afraid to ask him to help you. You'll eventually get into the swing of things, but you'll need help at first. Unless you're Super Woman. The Lord will provide, as you yourself said, and you will have a place to deliver your baby. I'm praying for you!
QueenOrual from S&S Forum

Kat said...

Surely the midwife in Alabama didn't say you weren't pregnant as well?! I've always considered home birth to be ideal...but after what you've been through I'm really beginning to wonder about midwives!

Natalie said...

It wasn't so much that (she did manage to confirm that I have a uterus lol). I really think God was protecting us from using someone that He didn't want involved in our pregnancy. The whole "Goddess on the loose" bumper sticker should have been a big clue! Afterwards though -God made it very clear. And hopefully Satan is skulking somewhere with his tail between his legs. We actually experienced a spiritual assault directly after leaving her. Praise God who gives us the victory though! It's been a wild ride. I'm hoping things will calm down soon, and that God will show us where to go -especially since He's been very definite about where we shouldn't go.

Amanda said...

I will keep you in my prayers. I am going through some difficult issues with service providers with my own pregnancy, but I cannot imagine having to relocate at the same time! God bless you and Allen.