September 15, 2007
Just a wee heart sore
I've been doing pretty good this past week, but there's just something about Trina's presentation of a fall day out with Jesse and family that really kind of tugs at me. Somehow she managed to put in it everything I want -a beautiful fall day whose sweet, tangy air caresses the low hills, music to which firs might gravely jig, family close and beloved, and a little mite of a fellow waving at the goats and grinning for all the world like some sort of small monarch out to approve the festivities. If there is such beauty without my small apartment and it's small surrounds I haven't the heart at present to find it. And there is no wee mite to make it all wonderful again for my eyes. There won't be for some time now. I don't begrudge her blessings in the slightest. I'm glad that I can look from afar and see her little picture of a family and the glory that is theirs. It's good that such wonders exist in this world and that people should enjoy them. Sometimes though I just get a bit wistful with heart yearning to experience some of these things myself. Oh, I've had my moments. But some moments...just don't get to be mine right now. It's ok. Someday. For now I'll try to be content with such as I have, but....(shrug). Someday.